Carers’ Stories
Peter loves these breaks as this type of freedom doesn’t happen at any other time in the week.
Karen Gamble and her husband Stanley live in South Belfast and have two children. Their son Peter, 43, has a learning disability.
Peter & Karen Gamble
Peter is a wonderful man, he is the centre of our world and we wouldn’t change him for anything, but Peter has to always come first. My husband and I used to be able to get holidays on our own. This was when we had family to look after Peter, but now it’s just too difficult to arrange for the three of us to go away.
We can’t just get up and go out, even for a walk. We can’t leave Peter sitting in the house for a short while as we once could, because now he doesn’t want to stay on his own, but we know it’s the same for other parents in a similar situation.
Caring Breaks provides his social life. It gives him the chance to meet other young people and do different things without me or my husband being with him.
Peter loves these breaks as this type of freedom doesn’t happen at any other time in the week. Peter feels he is doing the same thing as everyone else and going out for an evening. The peace and quiet on those evenings is wonderful, my husband and I don’t even turn the TV on.
We get the chance to sit and talk on our own, make a meal and just sit at the table, have a glass of wine and relax. It’s chill out time, but it’s something that other people take for granted.
Peter also gets to go on a weekend break and a day trip with his friends from Caring Breaks. This is the highlight of his year, giving him independence and being able to look after himself away from home.
Getting up in the morning and thinking of yourself – in 35 years I have never had that. This is the difference between those of us who have children with learning disabilities and those who don’t. But it’s the same for all us looking after children like Peter.
I needed help to keep going, and Caring Breaks rescued me.
Rachel and Peter Barrett
Ricky, Peter & Rachel Barrett
I have two sons, one of whom, Peter, has significant learning difficulties, which means that - like all parents with children such as Peter - he is completely dependent on myself and my husband. I love Peter dearly, but he is really a child in a man's body, and he has a child's need for constant attention. He wants you all the time, whether you are on the phone, or even if you're ill. And he's first up in the morning!
I needed help to keep going and Caring Breaks rescued me by providing a period of respite care most weeks, plus adventure weekends away in Cushendall, doing activities such as canoeing, climbing and making bird boxes.
Caring Breaks only has the resources to give us one weekend break a year, but these have an enormous positive effect. For, while he is away, although there is tremendous support from the Caring Breaks' workers, he has to look after himself, choosing his meals, put on on his own clothes, and socialising with others. Peter comes back exhausted, and talks about it for weeks afterwards, and long-term it makes him more grown-up and greatly improves his behaviour.
Other than with my husband and I, Peter never goes away, so these weekends are not just wonderful for Peter, but they give us the unique luxury of a whole weekend to ourselves.
We also get four hours every Saturday, for which I am enormously grateful, when a Caring Breaks worker takes Peter out. He loves trains, so sometimes he's taken to Bangor or Portadown and he also goes swimming. And every week Peter comes back and says he has had a good time and has “gone everywhere”.
These weekly outings and the adventure weekends give Peter a young person's social life and a broader perspective on life generally which has made him much happier by giving him confidence and esteem, and this has very positively affected how he behaves with us.
I would be devastated if we didn't have Caring Breaks - I don't know what I or my husband would do, for, frankly, it helps keep me sane.
Caring Breaks is the only social life Rachel and Caitlin have, where they can go out without us and enjoy spending time with their friends, doing the activities they love.
Sharon and her husband Yaxley live in West Belfast and have two children, Rachel (28) and Caitlin (24) and both girls have a learning disability.
Sharon, Yaxley, Rachel & Caitlin
“Rachel and Caitlin just love Caring Breaks and going out with their own sets of friends. Each girl goes out on a different evening. The girls have very different ideas about how they like to spend their leisure time, so it’s great that Caring Breaks provides the opportunity for them to meet up and socialise with their own sets of friends.
This wonderful support from Caring Breaks gives me the chance to spend quality time with each of my girls, as usually they are both in the house together and wanting my attention.
When Rachel first heard about Caring Breaks, she was reluctant to participate. I told her that if she didn’t like it, then I would come and get her. That was nine years ago, and she hasn’t looked back! She loves her Monday nights and looks forward from one week to the next until she can meet up with her friends again.
I can really see how Rachel and Caitlin have matured and grown in confidence over the years. This is in no small way due to being able to socialise outside the family unit and with support from the fantastic staff at Caring Breaks. We feel totally at ease knowing they are being so well looked after and supported.
The girls also enjoy going away for the weekend with Caring Breaks. Again, they go separately - which is their choice. This gives my husband and I the chance to do something ourselves as we find it easier to ask a family member to look after one of the girls for an evening than both.
This precious time out means everything to us and gives us a much-needed break to just do whatever we want to do, knowing that the girls are having a great time. In fact, we now need to arrange our family holidays around the Caring Breaks weekends as the girls don’t want to miss them! Rachel even chose last year to go away with Caring Breaks rather than with us, as I had booked our holiday on the same dates. This speaks for itself.
Caring Breaks also offers support to family carers by the way of coffee mornings and health and well-being events. My mum and I attend these and find them so worthwhile. This is time we get to spend on ourselves which is rare. We get the opportunity to meet with other family carers who have become friends. We know they will understand the issues we face in caring for our adult children with a learning disability. I would never take time out to go to a sound bath or pamper day for example of my own accord. These days out and experiences are priceless for myself and my mum.
Caring Breaks means everything to our family”.